November 2nd

Friday morning, while at work, I had to look up the date for Monday and there it was staring back at me, November 2nd.  

 

And so we meet again, November 2nd a date that will forever be tied in my mind to memories and heartache.  Each year I like to sit and reflect on what this anniversary means to me, what has changed over the course of the past year or the past five.  Wow, five.  It has been five years since November 2, 2010.  Many times 5 year anniversaries are celebrated, an achievement, sometimes gifts are given.  

 

In this case it is an achievement of sorts.  I have achieved a way of life in which my dad runs through my thoughts often; sometimes with tears and other times with smiles.  My family of five has achieved a day to day in which we often bring up Poppy in conversation or prayer; I am proud of the fact that he is not forgotten by my children.  It is an achievement for my siblings and me, we have figured out a way to exist in a world without our dad, a feat that seemed unimaginable 5 years ago.  We have come together, when needed, to support our mom.  And talk about achievement, my Mom, she is one tough lady.  She has achieved more in the last five years by herself that I am sure she ever wanted to.  And lastly an achievement for my husband, who, God bless him, has navigated my grief for five years in a way that honors my dad, comforts me, and is a tremendous help to my mom.

 

I don’t know that the pain associated with this day will ever get better.  But I can say that I have learned how to deal with it a little better, I keep busy on November 2nd, and a busy mind means that it won’t wander as much to the memories of 5 years ago.

 

Friday when I was returning to work after lunch a song came on the radio and I just had to smile (and crank it up).  A song from my Dad’s absolute favorite band, Alabama, was playing.  It was not a coincidence that the radio station was playing a song by them, I know it was my Dad, reminding me to smile even on the hard days.  And let me tell you, my memories of riding in his black truck with Alabama on the radio, turned up so loud came flooding back.  I remember him smiling and me trying hard to memorize the words to impress him.  Those are the memories that I cherish every day, but even more this time of year.