November 2nd

Today marks 3 years since a day that will forever be burned in my mind; a day that changed my life, and the life of many of the people that I love.  On November 2, 2010 heaven gained an angel, a “Poppy” angel as we like to call him.

Looking back 3 years can seem like a really long time, but it can also seem like it has flown by.  The days still come and go and sometimes a certain day or event hurts more than others.

Last year was a special November 2^nd.  On November 2, 2012 we learned that our family of four would soon be a family of five.  I had not been feeling well for a couple weeks but because of other events I didn’t think that it was due to pregnancy.  Then in late October I remember uttering something like “If I am not pregnant then there is something else wrong with me, because this is just not right”.  Chris went out and purchased a pregnancy test.  Then I had a thought, what if I waited to take the test.  It was late October; I felt pretty terrible already, what would a couple more days of waiting hurt, right?  So I decided I was going to take the test on November 2^nd.

This was my chance to make that date on the calendar mean more to me that hurt and sadness.  So the morning of November 2^nd I crawled out of bed feeling just plain sick (as I had for the previous weeks).  But I had something to look forward to; I went straight to the bathroom.  I read the instructions (even after doing this two times before I wanted to be sure I did it right) and followed exactly as directed.  After only a few minutes I had a smile on my face and went to tell Chris the news. 

 
Indeed the rush of emotion was a great way to start the day.  It made the illness and sickness all feel like it was worth it – a baby was joining our family; but even more than that, it made November 2^nd a day of celebration.  Although the celebration was only among Chris and I as we were not sharing our news yet.  It still was a reason to smile on a day that I have a hard time finding those reasons.

So this year on November 2^nd I am still sad, there will always be memories and images that will surround this day that are difficult to suppress.  But this year I look at our almost 5 month old daughter and think “Life is Good”.Plain and simple “I am blessed.”

 Yes we meet again November 2^nd, and yes there is still sadness in my heart, but also I am thankful for my beautiful family of five.  We all have a special guardian angel in heaven.  Four of the five of us were lucky enough to meet him here on earth, but the fifth one – she and poppy have a special connection, a shared name.  Kendall Christine, named for her special angel Poppy Ken.