Memories

Have you heard of the book Papa's Gift?  It is by Kathleen Long Bostrom - a fabulous children's book that tells the story of the relationship between a grandfather, granddaughter and God.  I highly recommend it.

I bring this book up because Aubrey LOVES it.  And I love that she loves it.  We read it and sometimes I cry, but mostly she hangs on every word and enjoys the relationship between Clara and her Papa.  In the book Papa tells Clara that somethings can only be seen with the heart, not with your eyes.  Tonight after that part of the book Aubrey looked at me and said "I see Poppy with my heart" - I melted.  This 5 year old reminds me again and again of just how much she understands and how special Poppy was to her; even if they only knew each other for 3 1/2 years.

On the topic of memories and Poppy, I had a couple things I want to write so that I don't forget them, that is one of the purposes of this blog for me. 

About 3 weeks ago I can't even remember how the conversation started but Aubrey retold me her version of the day that Poppy passed away; and she didn't leave out a bit.  This is not a day that I ever talk about, in fact if I can forget details of that day I think I would be better off.  But my wise little girl can remember every detail.  She told me how Chris and I picked her up from day-care and I hugged her extra tight, she told me that we had something to talk to her about when we got home, she told me where we sat and what I said, and how I cried.  And the part that I didn't need to be reminded of, because I remember it like it was yesterday, she told me that she gave me a HUGE hug and just let me hug her until I didn't need to anymore. 

There is no manual for grief, everyone handles it differently.  But sometimes I wish there was a manual for helping kids with grief.  I wonder at times if I am approaching the loss of Poppy correctly with the girls.  Do we talk about him enough to keep the memory alive?  Do I tell enough stories for Mia to build a memory of him, since she will have no true memories of a man that loved his grandchildren dearly.  Proud doesn't begin to describe how he felt about them, I just hope I tell them that enough.